The Country I Live In



The Country I Live In


I have lived in this country of skin for years

I have eaten at the wooden table

and with my long bone spoon fed many others

and been fed by others


Sometimes I want to be gone

like the wisp of smoke over the soup pot

that transmigrates up over our heads

and out the window, into the night


In my dreams, I am drifting over the sea

over the fishermen in their boats

close to the moon's cratered desolation

Still farther out, there is something I can't explain

a vibration, as if of music


Lucy Simpson, Seattle, 12/2008

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Lucy
Thanks Bluestarlet. This is a new style for me.
Aubrey
[this is good]

"In my dreams, I am drifting over the sea"

I do too. What do you see? Is it blue-black night? Are there stars reflected in the water?

Your last lines I can visualize so clearly.

BLUESTARLET: I fill in the blanks...

I really like that part, and going back to the beginning of the poem from there:)

Music? To me the last lines are special as music is something to remember back from what have been forgotten, and it is said that it can be a hard creative period yet it is a good exersise to work the brain. The inspiration might be beyond 'time' and worldly associations of time, yet it belongs to the world we live in. Still, visuals show their complement of the journey and the destination can be encouraged with your question Aubrey.

Lucy
[this is good]
Hey Aubrey. Thanks so much for commenting. This is very much a poem from depression, but in the end it really does is affirm life. The ocean has always been an awesome force for me to dream of. When I put the musical vibration at the end, I was thinking of "celestial music." I like to think the stars make music, that there are underlying notes in the universe.
Lucy
[this is good]
Thank you Bluestarlet. I think there are notes in everything, the vibration of energies.
Noone
[this is good]
[this is a perfectly publishable poem] Well done, Lucy. I like the transmigration of smoke over the soup pot and the title is perfect. The only thing I would change is possibly the 4th line of the second stanza, which isn't doing very much, could be a little more active/imaginative.--Renee, Who is ever the editor
Lucy
[this is good]
Thanks Renee. I will consider revising the second stanza. This is a sorrow poem and will need to sit, before I can see it clearly, hopefully after busy December is done.

Lucy, who loves a good editor
erc

Reading through the comments I find I don't need to add much to the general praise and thoughts here. I agree with them all.

You have a winner here Lucy, its ready for print.

With admiration

eric

Lucy
[this is good]
Thanks Eric. I wasn't quite sure of this poem at first. It was as if I found a strange part of myself. I was going through a little emotional dip when I wrote it and ended up feeling better. I will send this out in January.

Lucy

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